WITHIN THE FAMILY
Meadow Soprano, Where Are You?
By Alex Sachare
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![Meadow Soprano](images/meadow.jpg) |
Meadow Soprano '04
(Jamie-Lynn Sigler)
PHOTO: BARRY WETCHER/HBO
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I love
The Sopranos. More accurately, I enjoy watching the
adventures of this dysfunctional family and Tony's mob cohorts on
HBO each Sunday night, and wish they could produce more than 13 new
episodes a year. Perhaps I find it so fascinating and entertaining
because the show provides a titillating look at a slice of American
society that is so foreign to me. At least, that's what Dr. Melfi
might say.
Yet
try as I might this school year, I never ran into Meadow Soprano
shlepping her laundry bag across campus so she could bring her
clothes back home to New Jersey to be washed. Columbia's most
famous first year (our apologies to Julia Stiles, Anna Paquin, and
1,000 or so other highly accomplished if less publicized teens) was
nowhere to be found - not in University Food Market, not on the
ramps of Lerner, not even in the crowds squeezing into the Hamilton
elevator between classes. And her dorm room sure didn't look like
the Carman Hall I remembered, or any other Columbia dorm, for that
matter.
So
what's the story? Enquiring minds want to know - so we contacted
the feds, who offered to have a team of agents place a wire in a
lamp in Low Library so we could listen in on negotiations between
the Sopranos' production company and Columbia administrators. The
sound was a little fuzzy, but we think the conversation went about
like this:
Sop:
We'd like to shoot, I mean, film some scenes on campus - exteriors,
Meadow's dorm room, maybe a classroom or two. Of course, the
University will be well compensated for any disruption to normal
campus life, if you get our meaning.
CU:
We certainly do and we'd like to cooperate, but we're somewhat
sensitive to how you might use the University in your story
lines.
Sop:
Hey, whassamadda? You don't like us giving Meadow a neurotic
roommate? Or maybe you didn't like her half-Jewish, half-African
American boyfriend who drove her father up a wall? Perhaps you
don't like the way we described Columbia's fund-raisers as
"Morningside Heights gangsters?"
CU:
Well, frankly, no, we don't. And we're concerned that your
characters, dialogue and plot development may not be consistent
with the image of Columbia we like to portray to prospective
students and their parents. To say nothing of alumni
donors.
Sop:
So you want us to cut the bit about her getting her bike stolen on
campus? But the smirk on Tony's face when he found out it was taken
by a black guy - hey, you gotta admit that was good.
CU:
Yes, it was, and of course, we of all people do not advocate
censorship of any form. But perhaps it would be best for all
concerned if you did your shooting, er, filming,
elsewhere.
Not
surprisingly, with University officials wisely realizing this was a
no-win situation for them, negotiations went south from there. So
if you're looking for shots of Columbia on The Sopranos,
you'll have to look carefully. We've been told that while the talks
were going on, some exteriors were taken to serve as establishing
shots, and maybe even a few interiors. But once the parties decided
to go their separate ways, no more filming was done.
So
while Al Gore could be seen around South Field this spring, along
with a coterie of celebrity guests that included Rupert Murdoch,
Alan Greenspan and David Letterman, there was no Meadow Soprano to
be found. Too bad - I was looking forward to seeing Tony and
Carmella at Family Weekend.
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